This crazy mixed up spiritual journey has left me feeling like a boat without an anchor, a kite spinning in the wind without a tail. Left without my former faith practices, without a church, not even sure what faith I’m practicing anymore, I came to a decision today. It may not even be a good decision. I don’t know. But since I’ve been depressed and left aimlessly fluttering in the wind, I knew I needed to just pick a direction and start walking.
Instead of trying to figure out what I believe, or what to call myself, I’m going to hang on to what works. The very first new tool that called to me by inserting itself into my dreams 5 years ago – the Tarot. I don’t know why it works. I don’t necessarily think it’s some mystical woo-woo thing. I mean, it could be. But regardless, having a physical touchstone/talisman really helps. Sitting and holding, shuffling the cards is calming, preparation for some meditative quiet. I can choose a deck that resonates with my mood. After I’ve laid out the cards, meditating on the artwork helps me focus my monkey mind long enough to think straight.
Now, I don’t know how this works for other people who use Tarot, but I have never had any luck “telling the future” with them. If fact, I don’t even try. The future is best left to itself. Mostly I keep a Tarot journal to record the spreads, make a few notes, and look back on it later to see what actually turned up.
I do find that many times the images I’m looking at reflect what’s churning in my soul or life at that particular moment. It is uncanny that I will see running themes and over a period of days or weeks may draw some of the same cards. Since I tend to be my usual easily-bored Gemini self while choosing a deck – I find this even more uncanny as I tend not to use the same deck even two days running.
So. For whatever reason, it works. It calms me, grounds me, gives me focus. That makes it a useful tool, all mystical stuff aside.