It hurts

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Since my dear friend won’t speak to me the only way I have to keep up with her is her blog and facebook updates.  As I piece together what her journey must be now the picture it makes stabs at the open wound that is my soul.

Her ideas are listened to, mine would only be questioned.  She is surrounded by people who build her up, I am alone.  She is praised.  I am forgotten.  She rejoices in the light.  I am trying to not be smothered by the darkness.  She has constant reassurance of God’s love.  I am clinging frantically to the end of His coat-tails – trying to hold on.

She has the authority to issue spiritual challenges to others.  I have none, and would be considered an apostate by almost all who know me.

I sure hope God knows what He is doing….

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3 responses »

  1. You are not alone. I too have gone down the rabbit hole. I lost all that was comfortable to me and comforting to me. My world was shattered. I thought I was alone then too, but I found new friends who helped me build a world that was better than the old and goes along with God’s plan for ME.

    I know you feel alone. You’re not. You have friends you haven’t even met yet who pray for you daily and hold you in their thoughts.

    Misty,
    One of the Josephs.

    • Thank you – it helps to know it’s possible to come out the other side. I’ve had quite a few dark days and moments recently.

  2. The darkness is only a temporary place, but it can feel like forever, just like a sleepless night. There is helping hands reaching for you to help you out of your darkness, all you have to do is reach for them.

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