Since my dear friend won’t speak to me the only way I have to keep up with her is her blog and facebook updates. As I piece together what her journey must be now the picture it makes stabs at the open wound that is my soul.
Her ideas are listened to, mine would only be questioned. She is surrounded by people who build her up, I am alone. She is praised. I am forgotten. She rejoices in the light. I am trying to not be smothered by the darkness. She has constant reassurance of God’s love. I am clinging frantically to the end of His coat-tails – trying to hold on.
She has the authority to issue spiritual challenges to others. I have none, and would be considered an apostate by almost all who know me.
I sure hope God knows what He is doing….